Friday, May 20, 2011

till death us do part...

After watching the news this past week regarding the "Governator", his mistress & their "love child" it made me think about something that has been on my mind quite a lot lately. When you see good people do bad things it makes you wonder what the hell happened!?!

In my own life I have had to deal with the break up of a marriage, not my own but people who at one time were close to us. I have tried to "put myself in this persons shoes" & tried to "get in their head" to TRY to figure out why they do the things they do. Remember everyone is entitled to an opinion & now I am expressing mine. You see I know this person, I've actually known her for quite awhile, she is a mother of a young girl & has been acting VERY recklessly in her decision making. She is married but apparently in her mind it's only a marriage on paper. I strongly believe that even if you feel that it's only on paper you are still married. Sadly instead of trying to do ANYTHING & EVERYTHING to mend her broken marriage she has taken up with another man. I think what bothers me the most is that she introduced this man to her daughter in fact they continually hang out with him all the while still being married. To my knowledge they, her Mother & Father, never even had any conversation with her about the end of their marriage. Don't you think that conversation needs to take place? What do you say when you are out with another man? Is he your "friend" or your "boyfriend"? Is this even normal?! Can someone please try to explain this to me?! 

Someone once shared something with me regarding a woman they knew personally that died tragically in a helicopter crash. What came to surface in the weeks following her death, unbeknownst to her husband, was that she was having an affair with a co worker. The day she died she was off to some spa with him & their helicopter crashed killing them both. I could say talk about Karma but all I can say is that a higher power knew something was wrong with that. This other man was also married but it gets better, he had children. There will now be baseball games, dances, weddings, etc.. that he will miss out on all because he could not remain faithful to his wife. I'm sure that his family was stunned after finding out that their husband/father had died, knowing he was with another woman did not make them feel any better. Did he choose her over them? It's just so tragic! All I want to say is that when you are married & especially when you have children you need to think about someone other than yourself. Don't think with your libido, think with your head.

Now all over the news we hear about Arnold, the housekeeper & their 14 year old "love child". When someone is in your life, day in & day out, as she was in their life this has to hurt. To know her for over 20 years & to then find out that she gave birth to your husbands son a month after you gave birth to your 4th child together. How do you cope with that?! What helps you process it?! Over the past 14 years since his birth you cannot say that they have not spent time with, shared precious memories or maybe even confided in with what they thought was the housekeeper's son. What's terrible is that all that time Arnold knew he was in fact their brother. That to me is CRAZY!! How does a person do that to their family?! How do you keep that secret from the people you care most about?! What does that secret end up doing to your children?! Don't parents ever think about that?! I hope they all heal from this sad situation. As for Arnold & Maria I hope after the media frenzy subsides they can try to work on their marriage & find what brought them together in the first place. If in the end they go their separate ways they can at least say that they tried their hardest.

Why do people cheat? I guess that's the million dollar question! 

So getting back to the people that I know & what really makes me MAD! Why oh why would you expose your child, let alone your daughter to that. Isn't your first priority to be the best parent you can be & to protect said child from any undue emotional harm. I have to say that I do not want my children even around this person, do not want them to see or better yet think this lifestyle is OK. Now before you get your panties in a wad because I am sharing my thoughts here I am entitled to express my opinion whether you agree or disagree with it. This is made to get people to think about their thoughts & mostly their actions. When you see others acting recklessly & say nothing about it you are just as bad. Speak up! Be that trusted friend who gives sound advice whether they take it or not. At least you will know that you tried. Divorce is terrible no matter how you look at it but doesn't your child deserve two parents who fight like hell to get back to where they started from? If you do not agree then don't you think when your child/children grow up they can find some solace in knowing that their parents "tried" their hardest instead of just giving up?! Remember a good marriage is not easy, it is hard work. If you put forth the effort you will reap the rewards. I am a firm believer in the vows I took when I got married. For those that read this that are married do you remember the vows you took? For better or for worse, in sickness & in health...

till death us do part...

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